Fashion is one of the very few forms of expression in which women have more freedom than men. And I don’t think it’s an accident that it’s typically seen as shallow, trivial, and vain. It is the height of irony that women are valued for our looks, encouraged to make ourselves beautiful and ornamental… and are then derided as shallow and vain for doing so. And it’s a subtle but definite form of sexism to take one of the few forms of expression where women have more freedom, and treat it as a form of expression that’s inherently superficial and trivial. Like it or not, fashion and style are primarily a women’s art form. And I think it gets treated as trivial because women get treated as trivial.
Greta Christina, Fashion is a Feminist Issue (via conceptnoir)
And it is not surprising that even though fashion is seen as frivolous, trivial, and superficial for women, men hold some of the top positions and are some of the top designers in the entire fashion field. That a man can be succeed in the fashion industry and be lauded for forever but women are just seen as “oh she likes shopping and that is why she is into fashion”. You see what is going on here again?
The fact that you’re struggling doesn’t make you a burden. It doesn’t make you unloveable or undesirable or undeserving of care. It doesn’t make you too much or too sensitive or too needy. It makes you human. Everyone struggles. Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart. During these times, we aren’t always easy to be around — and that’s okay. No one is easy to be around one hundred percent of the time. Yes, you may sometimes be unpleasant or difficult. And yes, you may sometimes do or say things that make the people around you feel helpless or sad. But those things aren’t all of who you are and they certainly don’t discount your worth as a human being. The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved. You can be difficult and still be cared for. You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness.
The response to “this thing you do makes me feel unsafe or disrespected” is “I hear you, and I will not do that thing that makes you feel unsafe or disrespected anymore.” It isn’t “I love you.” Listening is the required act of love. “I love you” comes after that love is in evidence, and not before. Or instead.
Black Cat vs. Harley Quinn
Marker & Graphite Pencil